How Grief Affects Your Mental Health.

Unfortunately, grieving the loss of a loved one is something we will inevitably experience. It can carries with it a degree of risk when severe and 10-15% of people suffer with their mental health as a result of this. 

I experienced grief for the first time personally back in 2006 when my grandad, somebody I was incredibly close to passed away. Grief came in waves and although grief is something that hugely affects my own individual mental health, I know I am not alone. This Thursday is World Mental Health Day and I wanted to use this week to invite people to chat about their varying experiences of mental health and I knew grief fell into this. 

Fiona from FromFiona shares her own experience of dealing with grief and her mental health whilst in university. 

Grief. 5 little letters in a row to make quite a big word. It’s never expected, and it doesn’t always go away. It also brings its friends sadness, depression and many others with it too. Some people cope well and bounce back after the loss of a family member. I’m not one of those people. Within 10 years I lost all 3 grandparents I knew. My paternal grandfather died before I was born. These people had been constants in my life and when things went wrong with other parts of my life they were always the safe place to land. 

When my grandmother died I was 19, living away from home and about to start my second year of university. I was also working in a nightclub and drinking way more than I should have been. A year later I also tried to kill myself. It wasn’t a cry for help I genuinely didn’t want to exist any more. 

Fast forward 4 years and my grandad passed away. I’d not long met the man that is now my husband and thank god I had him around. He kept me sane and safe and I’ll forever be grateful for that.  We got married that November and I’ll always be sad the two of them didn’t meet as they’d have got on so well.

Thankfully through all of this I still had my other grandmother alive and doing well. We moved down to where my parents live and it was the best decision I could have made. I had my hysterectomy and also decided to go back to uni 10 years after dropping out the first time around. 

I swore this time would be different.

This time again before starting second year I had a grandparent in hospital. Add to the fact I also had joint power of attorney and I was feeling the pressure. My grandmother died 2 days after my dads birthday and on the day I was cooking his birthday meal. I’ll always remember seeing my husbands phone ring (he left it in the bedroom) and taking it to him & asking why dad was calling him. 

Since that day I’ve struggled. I was trying to juggle clearing her house with going to classes and doing my uni work. This time, however, things were different and I sought help. I used the counselling service at the university and it’s the best thing I’ve ever done. They helped me put the loss into perspective and helped me get back on track. 

If you are currently dealing with bereavement or know someone who is and want to know how you can support them, NHS has a fantastic guide for you on their website.

I still have bad days. I still have bad dreams. But this time I want to be here. I’d never dealt with loss before and that was the problem. Now that I know it’s normal it’s not such an issue for me.