Instructions for a Teenage Armageddon, Garrick Theatre Review

Charithra Chandran in Instructions for a Teenage Armageddon. Photo by Danny Kaan

Written by Cathie for Theatre & Tonic

Disclaimer: Gifted tickets in exchange for an honest review.

General warnings: This production contains gunshots, mentions of sexual assault, eating disorders, discussion of death and bad language.

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Of all the many one women shows in London currently, Instructions for a Teenage Armageddon takes a unique approach. This play, written by Rosie Day, responds to national statistics that a quarter of all teens self-harm. Although this production production focuses specifically on the challenges faced by teenage girls (stem4 are the charity involved with this production if you feel you need support). Directed by Georgie Staight and set in a mauve monotone bedroom, this play looks at themes of eating disorders, self harm, grooming, sexual assault and dealing with unexpected grief.

The story is centred around teen narrator Eileen, who is 12 at the start of the show. She is a “glass child” all too familiar in modern media, the supposed “healthy” child who is neglected and ignored as the parents focus on a family member who is ill. In this case it’s Eileen’s older sister Olive who dies unexpectedly at 17 after facing a heart attack due to anorexia. Eileen is played by Charithra Chandran with startling panache. In turns she’s bitingly sarcastic, naive, bratty, filled with bravado and painfully vulnerable. Chandran captured the essence of teenage angst well and portrayed it believably. The interjection of other characters filmed onto the walls of her bedroom sanctuary and the practical advice given by “sensible scout leader Susan” highlights how well she can explain and articulate their views and the pain they inflict upon her. From hapless parents, toxic fake friends and entirely too predatory love interests,

Eileen takes us through her experiences of teen life. You can see the rage building under her skin as she goes through horrific trauma, which contrasts strongly with how she glows when discussing her deceased sister and how desperately she needs someone to be there for her. At times the pacing is uneven and the ending feels too filled with platitudes to be comfortable but Chandran’s effects keep the production running smoothly for the most part.

This story is not just a coming-of-age tale, it comes wrapped in the biting sarcasm only teenagers can provide. It shows how bravado can only take you so far, that time doesn’t heal all storms unless you let it, and the importance of talking to others instead of bottling all your feelings inside. In the spirit of the show where at the end of the 80 minute running time you have the option to write your own advice for the current teenagers of today, and in light of its themes, here is mine:

1. Your brain will change by 80% during your teen years, so stop scrolling social media until 3am and get that 10 hours of sleep you need.

2. As this show paraphrases: If you are talking to someone much older than you in terms of dating, it’s not that you’re so much more mature than others your age, it’s that they think you’re an easy target. Delight in turning them down and your life will be much better.

3. Most importantly of all: Do all the crazy things and get all those fun experiences offered to you. Nobody will remember all the embarrassing things for long. Have all the fun you can.

At Garrick Theatre on Sundays until 28th April. 

★ ★ ★ ★