String V SPITTA at Soho Theatre Review
Written by Greta for Theatre & Tonic
Disclaimer: Gifted tickets in exchange for an honest review
Welcome to the Chelsea children circuit, where balloons probably cost more than rent and your entertainer’s CV features being a Grade 8 pianist. Enter Sylvester String – classically trained, Kensington-born, and Swiss-schooled – who is keen on discipline and playground songs. Opposite him: SPITTA, whose assets include freestyling, balloon-making, and an enormous TikTok presence.
This is the premise of String V SPITTA, the story of two children’s entertainers hustling through London’s plushest postcode parties, each nursing the same dream: landing the ultimate gig at the birthday party of an oligarch’s child. While SPITTA’s social clout is skyrocketing, String is left clutching his Steinway in fear. His solution? Sneaking his way into SPITTA’s act, of course, triggering a mashup of opposites that promises chaos and delivers… well, a fair amount of it.
The show kicks off with a cheeky musical backstory, setting the scene with breezy confidence. Audience participation isn’t just encouraged, it’s structural; one of us is chosen as Anastasia, the birthday girl, while another becomes the Russian bodyguard entrusted with her safety. The show is underscored by songs and remains immersive throughout without being (too) intimidating.
SPITTA works the crowd with balloon tricks and magic routines – the kind you’ve seen before but still can’t help finding enjoyable and somehow enchanting. String shines brightest when the mask slips: when, spurred by SPITTA, he launches in an improv about a sporty old flame, the audience is in stitches. Particularly memorable is a moment of beatboxing with the performers and the audience all involved to create an animal-sounds-based track in real time.
For all its cleverness and originality, the show sometimes feels underdeveloped. Class and culture clashing over cake is a winning concept, but perhaps the satire of social climbing wrapped in birthday-party chaos could land more convincingly. The rivalry between String and SPITTA, while amusing, rarely reaches the delicious heights of pettiness it promises, and a sharper sense of escalation would certainly help.
As it stands, String V SPITTA feels less like a theatrical showdown and more like two talented performers throwing glitter at a wall to see what sticks. It’s nonetheless an enjoyable hour: the moments that land really do sparkle, and the performers’ chemistry smooths the wrinkly bits. If you are expecting a tightrope of tension, you might be disappointed. If you go in ready to embrace the bizarreness of a rap-battle birthday gone rogue? You’ll have a good time.
String V SPITTA plays at Soho Theatre (Downstairs) until 26 July
★ ★ ★.5
